Out-of-state operative attempts to influence Nebraska voters

In a move decried by Nebraska home rule advocates, American president George W. Bush entered Nebraska earlier today and urged the state's residents to support Mike Johanns.

Zealous guardians of the integrity of Nebraska's voting process were on the verge of filing a complaint with the Nebraska Accountability and Disclosures Commission when they learned from reading an article in the Omaha World Herald that guests at the home of Walter Scott...

...nibbled on chicken skewers, beef tenderloin sandwiches and turkey noodle casserole.

Even though they had paid "$1,000 per person, then rose to $5,000 per couple and $10,000 per couple. Those who gave $10,000 got to have their photos taken with Bush."

In other news, Bush put his arm around the shoulders of Mike Johanns.

When they calculated that star Omaha World Herald staff writer Robynn Tysver had spent nearly 50% of the words alloted to her for coverage of this event on this and similar details, they realized that the local GOP needed no additional punishment beyond having to operate in a state with two of the country's worst newspapers and laid aside any need for further punishment.